About

Somebody has said this to you. You've probably said it. 90 minutes on telling healthy distance from quiet neglect. Free and interactive. Somebody in your life has said this to you. You have probably said it to somebody. Sometimes "I just need space" means I'm at capacity and I'll be back Thursday. Sometimes it means I'm gone, and you're going to spend a week wondering why. From the outside, on a Tuesday night, those two things look exactly the same. This workshop is ninety minutes on how to tell them apart. What will actually happen: Everyone gets a red flag and a green flag at the door. We read out real situations and you vote. Then we add one small detail and watch the room change its mind. Then we add another. It gets complicated fast, and that is entirely the point. After that we hand you a tool: four questions that tell you which kind of distance you're doing, in the moment, without waiting for a partner to tell you. You'll practice it in a small group with one of us, and you'll leave with a sentence you can actually say the next time you need to step back. Who this is for: People in queer, non-monogamous, and kinky relationships, where "I need autonomy" is a real value and also (sometimes) a wall. Come whether you're the one who goes quiet or the one who waits. Most people turn out to be both, depending on who they're with, and that is the interesting part. Partnered, solo, dating, poly, monogamous, newly out, out for thirty years. All fine. What you will not have to do: You do not need to bring a partner. Most people come alone. If you do come with someone, we'll suggest you pick different breakout rooms so you each get your own hour. You do not have to share anything about your life. You can participate for the entire ninety minutes by raising a flag and never saying a word out loud. Nobody will call on you. The small group has an opt-out and so does every exercise. You will not be diagnosed, and nobody is going to tell you which kind of avoidance you're doing. We're not here to sort you. No prior anything required. No therapy experience, no theory, no homework.

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